What is Love? A Psych-spective

Updated: Oct 4, 2019

By Sushreeta Sule, Mental Health Expert

Love is an emotion that an individual can experience at any point of time in their lives. We often associate the heart with this emotion, but it is actually the brain that makes the ‘heart flutter’. It is absolutely fascinating, isn’t it? The sweaty palms, the palpitations, the nervousness, becausebas ab karna hi hai izhaar-e-mohabbat’. This is the activation of the ‘fight or flight’ response wherein you confront - confess your feelings, or your throat is just too parched and move away from telling them how you feel. So, definitely not cowardice, just needs more preparation? Also, what a lot of people may call ‘Love’ is actually a mis-labelling of the emotion. Let’s take a little Bollywood to explain what I mean.

‘Dil dhak dhak karne laga, mora jiyara jalne laga’. This song basically talks about the physiological changes in the body, caused majorly due to sex hormones such as testosterone and estrogen. So, here we’re talking about sexual gratification or, putting it across very simply, lust.

More examples? Sure! I am a song - person, so I’ll just list down some songs.

  • Choli ke piche kya hai

  • Badan pe sitare lapete hue

  • Haye rama ye kya hua, kyu aise hume satane lage

  • Aa re pritam pyaare

  • Move your lakk baby

  • Dilbar

  • O Saki, saki

  • Jaadu hai nasha hai

  • Bheege honth tere

  • Jiya Jale

  • Ang laga de re

  • Raat ka nasha

  • Dreamum, wakeupum, critical conditionum

“She said yes!”—Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin are, what we can simply call ‘Happy Hormones’. They are secreted by, you guessed it right, the Brain! The Brain is the ultimate muscle. It controls and regulates a lot of internal functions in the body, including helping you feel this feeling called ‘Love’! These hormones are important but in optimal levels, because we all know that too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Also, these hormones are released with different kinds of love. Let’s list them down, shall we?

  • Cuddling with pets.

  • Helping someone.

  • Reading a genre that you enjoy.

  • Listening to music that is your kind.

  • Meeting friends.

  • Meeting that someone special.

  • Family time.

  • Watching a movie.

  • Going out shopping.

  • Etcetera, Etcetera.

So, is this love? Well, here I’d like to quote an entire poem written by my students for their fashion show, which sums it all up beautifully, allowing each their own representation.

This is Love.

I love a, e, I, o, YOU

You are the wow in vowels.

You’re perfection at its best.

Detesting no test.

Your hair so messed.

Yet I was utterly impressed.

Oh and that smile

It takes a while

To comprehend.

The beauty, the innocence that it oozes.

You’re blessed if you’re who she chooses.

This is Love.

Kya yahi pyaar hai?

Haan yeh bhi pyaar hai.

Pyaar azaad hai usse almari se nikaal do

Yaar toh who hai jispe tum behaal ho

Yaar ki ya ka nahi

Yaar toh bas yaar hai

Kya yahi pyaar hai?

Haan yeh bhi pyaar hai.

This is Love.

Will you just let us be, please?

I stand tall against the world but for you I’m on my knees.

Your hand in mine

We are intertwined

No less than a friend

That's not just where we end

Because this is Love

Kya yehi pyaar hai,

Haan yeh bhi pyaar hai?

Yeh lagaav hai

Chunav nahi

Mohabbat ke dorahe par khadi, puchti hu kyu chunna hai zaroori?

Anjaam par intezaar karna mera, yeh kahaani hogi poori.

Kya yehi pyaar hai?

Haan yeh bhi pyaar hai.

Everybody loves somebody.

Everybody loves somehow.

If you haven’t met love yet,

I think you should start looking now.

This book is out of the closet

You can put me on the shelf

You don’t need to love somebody

You can love yourself.



- Poem by Rashi Shetty and Osaid Butt

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